Posts Tagged ‘family’
preface: i am not a professional child expert! i’m a graphic designer who made a child with the help of a journalist. the following information is for entertainment purposes only and seems to be working well for our child.
i posted a picture of our new ‘discipline’ system on instagram last week and a few people were curious, so i thought i’d share it with you. now, we love our little guy! he is so interesting and funny but sometimes: SO FRUSTRATING! i’m sure all the parents are feeling me on this one. we’ve been working on a way to minimize the exhaustion though: the behavior bead system!
a few things we’ve been dealing with lately prompted this system: there has been some major ingratitude (“i wanted better presents from america, dad”), some teasing of the pets (nothing cruel, just annoying them incessantly) and disrespect for people and property (hello autographed sofa). generally, we’d all got a bit slack and naughty things would slip by un-checked – until something made one of us snap and over react! at the end of a rough day its difficult to understand that he’s just five and that its our job to teach him these good qualities. that might sound like craziness but in some cases its difficult not to take things personally and i don’t want our time together to be more enduring than enjoying, so we all needed a shake up!
what’s the system?
i wanted a system that would help us stay on top of the unpleasant behavior, would maintain the kid’s attention, and teach him some better self control. so, i arrived at the behavior bead system! i think its pretty great because:
✽ each day the kid starts with 20 beads credit. he doesn’t have to work to earn more beads, he just has to try and not lose any! i think this is good because its a positive start to each day: he’s moving forward, but its up to him how fast he moves toward his goals.
✽ his goals are a collection of vouchers that he can redeem when he’s collected enough beads. we made a list of things that he enjoys and assigned each a bead value e.g.:
40 beads: your choice of game from the cupboard
60 beads: a tv show of your choice
70 beads: a DVD movie
100 beads: 1 hour internet time
100 beads: dessert of his choice
120 beads: dinner of his choice
140 beads: a trip to the movies
✽ he gets the benefit of the doubt: each time he starts heading off track he gets a warning, and if he doesn’t correct himself, he gets fined one bead. he can’t earn that bead back, so he has mostly been paying attention at the warning stage.
✽ he is learning about saving, and delaying gratification. i was pleasantly surprised that he didn’t cash all his beads in on day three for some tv time – he held out for what must have felt like an eternity so he could have dessert. i was happy to reward him – he really earned that ice cream!
how does it work day to day?
we have a chart on the wall in our living room, and each day has 20 blank circles representing beads. if the kid gets a fine we color one circle in and he will get one less bead at the end of the day. e.g.: 3 fines, 3 circles filled in = 17 beads remaining at the end of the day.
after dinner, we check the chart and count out the remaining beads he hasn’t lost to fines. this is fun because he likes counting and we practice counting in 2′s, 4′s etc. he has a box for bead his stash and his voucher book that he keeps in his room. i keep the “bank” of beads and redeemed vouchers up high in the living room so there’s no tampering or great bead robberies!
i chose to use beads rather than money because i wanted something separate that we could put our own value on and he couldn’t cheat with and find other coins to add to his stash! and i chose green beads because i had a whoooole heap of them – also they look very special and valuable like emeralds!
do you want to try using behavior beads?
if you would like to try this out with your kiddos, i’ve made printable charts and vouchers just for you – just BYO beads and you’re all set!
please note: i do not offer tech support, or customization on printables.
✽ 2 week progress chart for recording fines & tallying the beads
or, if you’d like to fill in your own vouchers with goals relevant to your child:
what do you think of our system? do you have your own way of helping your kids keep on track?
definitely loving some purple this week. oh those boots! ah that jacket! and charlie and the chocolate factory writing set?! WHAT! so awesome i’m sure its illegal.
in other news, today my son donovan is turning FOUR! i can’t believe it. he’s proper kid these days. so wherever you are, raise a babycino to my boy, and say “peace and wuv”.